Comic CONTEST!!!

Comic Contest:

WHO EVER MAKES THE BEST COMIC WINS 10k!!!@#!#$@@$!#@$!#@$@#$!@#$!@#$

Judging will be on June 7 by ILLPKFOREVER!!!!!Our Beloved *cough* leader!

POST AWAY!

Bertha: Thank you Fatehill for FINALLY putting the toilet seat down!

Fatehill: How else would i keep my bees in there?

Bertha: AAAHHHHH!!!!



My inspiration-----POOKIE!!!!(garfield's teddy bear )

*Ill and Fatehill sitting down talking*

Ill: meh...I showed Tabatha my new Top Hat...she didn't like it...nothing will impress her......damn woman....

Fate: I'm sorry whats a woman???

Ill: U know the thing thats in your kitchen making sandwiches??

Fate: Yah what about that thing?

Ill: That's a woman.

Fate: Ooooooooo.

Akamaru: for the motherland!!!!!!!!!!
rev fires magic at akamaru.
akamaru: ouch!
DEATH: SO WAS THE BATTLE CRY HELPFUL THIS TIME
akamaru: ummmm
DEATH: I THOUGHT NOT
Akamaru:.....
DEATH: TIME FOR YOUR TRIP BACK TO LUMBRIGE NEXT TIME TAKE FOOD

Illpkforever: Hey fate, have you ever wondered why my name is illpkforever and I don't pk much?

Sir Fatehill: Well, no illpk, I've got better things to think about.

Ilpkforever: Like What?

Sir Fatehill: Well, I've got a whole plethora of things to worry about. My male parent told me to go out and breathe some fresh air and, as quoted by him, it will do wonders for my health. He said, "Hey son, if you go out, maybe you can get a girlfriend!" I don't know what he meant but i think he said, "If you don't go out, it will further aggravate your health, but if u do go out, then maybe you will get a rendezvous with a female person."

But...I have to finish Bertha's homework for her. If I do, she says she will give me more homework to do!! How can I resist that?!

Illpkforever: Sir Fatehill, GET A LIFE!!!!!!

Sir Fatehill: But I am already involved in this "life" you speak of. Is it not what I have been having for the past 18 years?

Illpkforever: !@@#%@#$%#!@

rawwrr my comic is about pie

pie is soo awesome it's its own joke....






------------HEIL AKAMARU380 the almight awesome pie owner of piesaka!----------------

*Fatehill and Bertha watching TV*

Bertha: Can we switch the TV to something good like the COOKING CHANNELL?

Fate: Shouldn't you be doing that now while i'm watching Newcastle vs Celtic?

TV: *Newcastle defender pass back to the goalie...Goalie completely misses! OWN GOAL*

Bertha: Hun did you see that kick! THAT WAS AMAZING! What good placement...this so beats the cooking channel!

Fate: -.- *turns of TV and walks away*

The best joke I have that's PG-13 is sorta racist, but here it is:

What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill? White power!
What do you call black people pushing a car up a hill? Black power!
What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto!


There. Zariff has been bugging me all morning.

To be realistic, I don't know anyone named Bertha, I am actually a pretty good swimmer/basketball player, and I support Liverpool :p (and I won't discuss my love life as it's none of your business but it does exist.... )

Other than that, carry on


Oh yeah,
What do you call 1 Fiat on a hill?
A miracle.
What do you call 2 Fiats on a hill?
Fiction.
What do you call 3 Fiats on a hill?
A Fiat Factory.

(for those who don't know, a Fiat is a type of car made in Italy not known for it's quality...)

The Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Bush. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.

After a month of testing, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:

1) The stamp is in perfect order.

2) There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.

3) People are spitting on the wrong side


i think i out did myself

One day a woman was attacked by a dog. A man rescues her. The reporter interviews him and the headlines next day......

"UK citizen saves woman from rabid dog"

The man tells the reporter that he was not from UK Next day...

"Local Hero saves woman from stray dog"

The man tells the reporter that he was from Afghanistan and not a Local Hero

Next day....News Headlines....

"Terrorist attacks local dog"
(no offence 2 any1 from Afghanistan!!!)


P.S. Sir Fate, hope u didnt mind!! if u did, den um sorry! i was just kiddin. and i do believe dat u are a great swimmer cum basketball player nd also dat u do hav a luv life! (dont we all?! =p)

i am postin dis for jassepii11:

3 nuns ask a priest of dey can take a vacation.
he syas yes, but dey hav 2 go 2 the confession altar afterwards.
so dey go for a whole weekend...
wen dey come back ,the first 1 goes 4 confession. the priest asks wat she did n she says, "i cursed multiple times."
so he 4gives her n tells her 2 drink holy water.
the 2nd one comes in n tells the priest he ran over a guy wid a car. the priest 4gives her n tells her 2 drink holy water.
the 3rd one coems in n falls 2 the ground laughin her @$$ off.
the priest asks, "wat did u do?"
and she says, "i pees on the holy water!"

Meh, it's ok zariff just that I'm not used to being the center of attention for anything, much less a fictitious personal life, lol. I'm more of the hide-behind-my-postings type

*Ill, Fate, AK, Bad, and Honar sitting around playing poker*

Fate: *under his breath* So there's 82 % chance that I will win with 2 aces and a 6 % chance that Ill will win with either king queen or king ace.....

Ill: HURRY UP FATE! STOP MAKING CALCULATIONS AND PLAY!

Fate: meh.. so if there is a 18 percent chance that anyone but me will win I got this in the bag!

ILL: NO DUH!!!!

Fate: call

*everyone folds*

Fate: Yes!!!! Bertha we eating good tonight!!!

Bertha: So I don't have to cook tonight?

AK: *looks at Bertha* No no Fate 126 dollars isn't enough to feed her.

Fate: ....You wait right here...while i conjure up a retaliation to those harsh words!

AK: ....this is so sad....

I think badmarine won

*Fatehill dies and goes to Heaven*

Gate person: Hello Fatehill before you are permitted into heaven you must have a tour of God's Mansion

Fatehill: Oooohhh I hope it has doric ionic and corinthian pillars

Gate Person: *under breath* I should of sent him to hell....

God: Hello young son Fatehill!

Fate: Hi

God: *takes him to a room with a bunch of clocks* this is our room of clocks of famous people....these clocks move when a person tells a lie, Washington's is perfect, yours is perfect and....

Fatehill: Where's George Bush's clock?

God: Oh fate it's the ceiling fan for the main room....It gets quite loud though....

Fatehill: That's smart....But how do you turn it off?

God: It doesn't

Okay, I got 2.

#1. So a golfer and a priest are playing golf. The golfer hits the shot and it goes into the water. He says, "Dammit! I missed!".
The priest says, "If you miss like that and curse 2 more times, God will strike you down."
Just to prove him wrong, the golfer purposely hits the ball into the water and curses. Seconds later, there is a bunch of rumbling and a lightning bolt comes down. A Heavenly voice says, "Dammit! I missed!"

#2. So Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing golf. Moses hits first and it goes into the green. Then Jesus takes his ball and hits it, and it goes farther than Moses's ball, but not quite into the hole. Then, the old man hits his ball. It flies out into the street, hits a car, goes flying into a flying eagle's talons, and the eagle flies over and drops the ball into the hole. Moses says to Jesus, "You know..This is why i hate playing golf with your dad!"

Blonde Joke - Sheep

A blonde is sitting at home one day when she decides she's sick of hearing blonde jokes. She decides to dye her hair brown, and, to see if it works in making her more intelligent, goes to a farm where she approaches the farmer with the challenge, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer chuckles to himself, before replying, "Sure, why not?"

The blonde pulls out a calculator and does a bunch of hugely complicated equations and comes up with a number. She says to the farmer, "There are 314 sheep out there." The farmer is astonished. "You're right!" he says. "Go take your pick".

The blonde takes a few minutes to pick a sheep, waves to the farmer, and leaves.

She's sitting at home the next day when she hears a knock on her front door. She opens it and finds the farmer standing there holding his hat. He says to her, "If I can guess your real hair colour, can I have my dog back?"

#2
Blonde Watches The News...



A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says 6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible!'

Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and,there is that risk involved.'

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian?'

#3


Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

#4
Accident At the Pearly Gates

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven...

It had been a pretty busy day, though, so St Peter had to tell the first one: "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony and, sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started punching and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell - but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay! I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started punching and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

half of u copied and pasted

yeah i did, but i like funny stuff .

and i know this doesnt count